The Beginning of My Spiritual Journey
I’ve have been blessed to have many Divine experiences in my lifetime…I remember, as a child, hearing about others who had prayed to God and received answers, so I decided to do that on my own. I remember waiting for a time when I could be by myself, alone in privacy. When I was finally alone, I kneeled beside the bed with my hands in the position of prayer, and asked God that I be shown the truth. I wanted to be connected with the one true God, and I wanted to know for certain that God was real. At that time, I felt that God had heard my prayer. I just felt it…
I remember sitting in class at school one afternoon when I was 9 years old – suddenly remembering that between lives, I had made a strong determination to do my absolute best in what is now my present incarnation. So there I was, 9 years old, remembering having had an existence between lives, and that I needed to really apply myself to get it right this time.
We’re all vulnerable to feeling bad about mistakes we’ve made in the past, and even though I could not remember past lives distinctly, I knew that something about those past lives made me feel that something was missing, that there was something else I needed to do to get my life “right” according to my own high standards.
Since that point, my life has been filled with deep spiritual adventures, and I’m sure that some of those spiritual adventures and awakenings were at least partially due to the fact that I had made the spiritual determination, when I was 9, to pay attention to spiritual things, and to make spirituality into the focus of my life.
Growing up, I was always interested in learning everything I possibly could about truth, God and life. While the other children seemed to have no interest in anything but playtime, I was interested in looking for answers, and for God. Life went through its ups and downs, and I certainly made some mistakes, but on the whole, I kept a good portion of my focus on my quest for God and true spirituality.
Help from Gurus, Yoga and Meditation
As a young married woman, after giving birth to my first son, and afterwards having health problems I had never experienced before, my brother reminded me of my interest in yoga, and suggested I start practicing hatha yoga regularly in order to regain my normal healthy state. Taking his remonstrances seriously, I started a regular hatha yoga practice, and in addition, began practicing meditative raja yoga as well.
I definitely wanted to feel better physically, and in addition, my deep desire to know God on a personal level became the driving force for the continuation of my efforts. Shortly after the birth of my daughter, three years later, I found myself connecting with my Aunt Jo, who, before then I barely knew. While visiting her in San Diego, she took me through her home to show me around, and I noticed interesting spiritual pictures on the wall in her bedroom. When I asked her about them, she enthusiastically shared that these were pictures of her gurus, relating to her spiritual path, and the meditation involved. She told me of the book that had led her to this path, and I quickly took heed and got a copy of the book.
This led me to the teachings of my guru, Paramahansa Yogananda, and very soon I was practicing a much higher level of the connecting-with-God meditation that, through my Aunt Jo, Yogananda introduced me to. Only sixteen years later, after practicing daily devoted meditation, I had my first experience of divine Christ-consciousness (samadhi). This happened just before Christmas, 1990.
My Divine Experience…
That evening, after only a minute of sitting on the floor to meditate, God pulled me out of my body and into a circle of light. I was sitting in the circle of light, and I was the circle of light. I had 360° vision, and could see through the back of my head as well as all around me, including the periphery on both sides. In that experience, I witnessed something that looked like stained glass windows on both sides. I thought, “No wonder they have stained glass windows in churches.” Others, besides me, must have seen the stained glass windows that exist in this dimension. It’s amazing! In that dimensional experience, I was able to see not only in front of me and both sides, I could also see through the back of my head! In front of me was something that literally looked like a throne. Although I saw no one sitting in the throne, I felt the invisible presence of God. There was no doubt. I was in the presence of God.
I loved the state I was in, and I wanted to stay there forever. Even so, God brought me back into my body. At that point, my head was hot, and felt huge—like it filled the entire room.
That night I had no ordinary sleep. Instead, I remained in a state of Cosmic Consciousness throughout the whole of the night. Even the next day, while driving my children to school, I was shocked that I could hear people’s thoughts, and tune in with people, though they were strangers. People who happened to be walking or standing on the streets and sidewalks along the way – I knew what they were going through. Everyone has their own thoughts and challenges, and even though I didn’t know these people, I could feel their thoughts and emotions.
Looking back on it, I know now that at that point, after that Divine experience I just described, I had entered into a higher state of consciousness that had changed my life and had changed my brain so that I now have the ability to understand others on a much deeper level than I could understand them before.
This event helped bring me to the place where I am now, and opened up my abilities. A new closeness and understanding of God and the Divine had been given to me, and has been with me ever since.
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